Somizi Buys Sun City & Turns It Into “Idols Maximum Security” Prison Resort – R4.2 Billion Deal! ⛓️🎤🇿🇦

⚠️ 100% SATIRE & FICTION • THIS STORY IS FAKE • JUST FOR LAUGHS ONLY ⚠️

**Johannesburg, South Africa – December 13, 2025, 8:00 p.m.**

Somizi Mhlongo just dropped the biggest shock of the year – he bought Sun City for R4.2 billion cash and is turning the entire resort into “Idols Maximum Security”, a luxury prison-themed entertainment complex opening June 2026.

The deal closed at midnight. Somizi arrived this morning in a pink helicopter wearing an orange jumpsuit custom-made by Gert-Johan Coetzee with “Head Inmate” in diamonds.

His vision for the new venue is wild: the old casino becomes the “Visitation Room” nightclub with one-way mirrors and fake guards. Hotel suites are renamed “Solitary Confinement Luxury Cells” complete with jacuzzis, PlayStation 5s, and room service delivered through a slot in the door. The Valley of Waves water park is rebranded “Escape Attempt Splash Zone” with lifeguards dressed as prison wardens blowing whistles for “contraband” floats.

The golf course turns into “Yard Time Mini Golf” with holes shaped like handcuffs and barbed wire decorations. The main stage is a replica courtroom where guests “judge” celebrity performances – complete with a real judge’s gavel and jury box VIP seating.

First confirmed acts include an Idols reunion concert in the “Parole Hearing Arena”, Mohale Motaung hosting nightly shows as “Warden of Drama”, and Vusi Nova performing from a fake cell “for the authenticity”. Somizi even plans weekly “talent searches” where guests audition from behind bars.

Ticket prices start at R15 000 for weekend passes. VIP “Early Release” packages cost R150 000 and include champagne showers, mock mugshot photoshoots, and a personalised orange jumpsuit.

Somizi on stage at the press conference:  
“I’ve been judged my whole life. Now I’m judging the game. Sun City was tired. I’m giving it prison chic! Everyone wants luxury but also drama – I’m delivering both behind bars, in style.”

The government has already endorsed the project “for job creation and cultural innovation”. Tourism minister promised tax breaks for “reimagining heritage sites”.

Mzansi reactions are pure chaos: memes of Somizi holding Sun City keys like handcuffs went viral instantly. One clip shows him “sentencing” a fan to “life in the dancefloor”. Another has Mohale practicing his warden whistle.

#IdolsMaximumSecurity is trending #1 worldwide with 578 million posts and climbing.

The only thing getting a life sentence now is the turn-up – and the queues for tickets.

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Written by Juice Master | Mzansi Satire King since 2025  
All stories 100% fake for entertainment only 🔥  
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